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The Fruits of the Spirit - Posted 7/1/2026
If you're looking for Christian dating advice or wondering how to build a healthy, lasting relationship, the Bible provides a surprisingly simple answer. Long before modern dating experts existed, God gave us the qualities that create lasting love. They're called the Fruits of the Spirit, and they are the foundation of every healthy Christian relationship.
Galatians 5:22–23 says: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." The Apostle Paul continues by saying, “Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.”
We are all attracted by good looks, confidence, financial stability, communication skills and a good sense of humor. Unfortunately, we get hung up on looking for these traits instead of focusing on searching for the Fruits of the Spirit. We end up dating people for the wrong reasons. Then, when conflict strikes, the person’s true nature is revealed and the relationship crumbles if they don’t have the Fruits of the Spirit. This is why we must dig deeper to look for the character God desires for His people. This is vital to our long-term happiness and security, as well as for the children we may bring into the relationship.
A Closer Look
Love –This kind of love is active and intentional. This type of person will not only love you, they will help you become the best person you can be. What better partner can you ask for?
Joy –True joy comes from the belief that God is with us and for us, regardless of the circumstances. This type of joy provides the stability you want for a healthy relationship.
Peace –Instead of running away from conflict, or fighting to get what they want, peaceful people will work alongside you to resolve any conflict. This is priceless in a relationship.
Patience – Being slow to speak and quick to listen. An eagerness to seek to understand others and pray for God’s wisdom before making judgements and decisions.
Kindness –Intentionally choosing words and actions to build others up and make them feel respected and loved. Showing kindness even to our enemies is the heart of the Gospel.
Goodness: An inner drive to do and say what is good and right in the eyes of God. A partner who is going to lead by example and encourage you to do the same.
Faithfulness –A man or woman who is faithful to their partner in all ways, physically, emotionally, and sexually, creates a relationship built on trust that lasts a lifetime.
Gentleness –A gentle touch or word can bring affection and love where it’s needed. Hurricanes cause people to run for shelter, while a gentle breeze cools their body and mind.
Self-control – In this world we are tempted by many things, such as money, power, sex, and status. But the Spirit of God seeks instead the will of God.
Pay close attention to whether your partner consistently demonstrates these qualities. Have an honest conversation with them about these building blocks of a Godly relationship.
Couples who intentionally cultivate the Fruits of the Spirit will seek to understand each other, repent and forgive more readily, and resolve conflicts in ways that glorify God.
Physical attraction fades and confidence will rise and fall. But love, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control create relationships that can weather life's storms.
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